Humorous Speech Essay Spring Coursework

Anti-low-fat milk pills– invent some of those)Okay, first of all, EVERY comic wants to be on “The Tonight Show”– even Jay Leno is trying to figure out a way to stay on the show past when his contract expires. Or, if you’re really, really talented, and really lucky, you go the Aaron Sorkin route. But please, unless you ARE Aaron Sorkin, or Jerry Seinfeld, or Jay Leno, or one of their agents, attorneys or managers, how about you finish looking at my teeth or whatever you’re supposed to be doing, and let me manage my own career. And if you ARE Aaron Sorkin, I’m not going to ask you to read my screenplay (that would be crass) but if you don’t buy me the beer you’ve owed me since 1988 then I’m going to remind you that I stole three bases in one game against your team when we were kids.* His name wasn’t Snarf Garftarf, but wouldn’t that be a cool name for a president? The comic didn’t get many laughs, and barely any applause. So when I write back to say “Thanks for submitting. It’s also the oldest continually raced sport around, at almost 2500 years old. That he wouldn’t ordinarily say anything, but as I was commuting 2 hours a day, each way, just the commute alone almost a full-time job, he felt it his obligation to let me know. I said “Pete, I appreciate what you told me last night. And with that knowledge you know that I can’t complain if I don’t make the team. Greetings from Lost Angeles, land of 3 AM traffic jams, metered on-ramps and billboards advertising breast augmentation operations (99, if you’re interested; I assume that means for both).You don’t just call up Bob and Ross (they’re the guys who book the comics for the show– and if you didn’t know this then maybe, just maybe, you’re not in a position to give career advice to a comedian) and say “Hey guys, I’m ready, what nights are free? What you do is, you write a spec script for a TV show (that means a script for an existing show, on speculation, because nobody’s paying you for it and nobody will ever buy it). You prove you can continue to produce under pressure. You work your ass off writing during the day while tending bar at a Broadway theatre at night. I’m keeping his name secret (but a family member of his is mentioned in this article and I’m pretty sure nobody named Erbitux is running for president this year)As I look back on last year, and having finally managed to clean off my desk, I wanted to let people who feel not-as-good-about-themselves-as-they-ought-to, to have a reason to think that they’re doing most things right. If you’ve ever written a book and looked for a literary agent you know that their slush pile is so big that they’re simply looking for a reason to say no. Which is okay– I was considering hiring the comic, not the audience. I can’t use you right now– but feel free to write back in another year– and to be clear, I HAVE put people in the show long after their first query” please don’t argue. But that I was welcome to try again the next year, and to stop by if I were in Philadelphia again. But it’s still my choice to keep trying, and that’s what I’m gonna do, until the selection process is finished and you’ve chosen the team.”I’m sure that if I’d said anything the night he suggested I go home and not come back, other than “Thanks for talking to me,” I probably wouldn’t have gotten the chance to even race for my spot. Yes, I know, doctors prefer to call it a “procedure” but technically speaking I think the correct word is “installation.”It took over an hour on the freeway before I spotted a woman driving an SUV who was NOT speaking on a cell phone.So a three minute set would have well more than fifteen laugh lines.It was a great show to watch as well as educational and inspiring. AND– they weren’t just looking for comics– they were casting a reality show– so the comics not only had to be funny, they had to reveal who they were.There are fewer Appeals Court judges and they seem to work in threes. I don’t know what compels people to think they know how to write a TV show just because they spend seven hours a day on the couch (or DESPITE the fact that they spend seven hours a day on the couch), or that they know how comedians get ‘discovered’ (hint: we don’t GET discovered.

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You should figure out what cures cancer and patent it and sell it.” (hint– you want to know what cures cancer? THAT’S a hit too (“A Few Good Men” as if you didn’t know). I couldn’t see how many people were in the room, and by the sound I figured there weren’t many people there. And to be clear, even for those who’ve sent me awful tapes I’ve tried to be constructive and positive, despite it going against my nature (I’m a native New Yorker). And in China, where the sport originated, it IS a big sport. In fact it is the second most popular sport in the world, China being a fifth of the world’s population. I was a rower, quite good but rowing is a different range of motion from dragon-boating. Told me he didn’t think I was going to make the team. ” I will probably continue watching, but I may not watch the full ten minutes.

While there are aspects of my profession that an audience doesn’t see (marketing– working to get booked, for example) there’s nothing like getting paid to brighten people’s days. I was the first NY comic to audition for Last Comic Standing II. While waiting to go on stage I thought of an addition to strengthen my opening joke, an addition I still use.

Making a list of the best jobs but leaving out the creative ones is like having a list of the best places to live but excluding all the coastal states. And I promptly forgot about it when I nervously stepped on stage.

A bunch of blogs ago I questioned whether it’s better to have a three sentence joke that gets 80% laughter or a two sentence version that gets 60% laughter. And I want NY comics to dominate as we should– after all, NYC is the center of stand-up comedy. Oh, you say, why would how some idiotical lower-level person in a campaign affect how she’d run the country as president? If they say Snarf Garftarf, thank them, tell them they’ve made an excellent choice.

And while I still don’t have the answer for audiences, for auditioning I go with two sentences and 60%. That lower-level person isn’t going to become Secretary of State or be appointed to the Supreme Court. But that lower-level person is going to be offered a job as a mid-level bureaucrat in the Clinton (Mrs.) Administration. Because another guy was given the same intersection and he stood across the street from me at the top of a subway entrance. If they say the other guy, ask them to read the flyer, maybe you’ll change their mind.

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  1. Given what he shared in his essay, we can imagine Jerry being an active participant both in and out of the classroom.","Jerry’s essay helped the admissions committee understand his background and how he persevered and grew through debate.

  2. You might say that some of these "problem-solving examples" in the workplace could overlap. For example, both new and experienced business owners must “hire talented people.” This issue wastes no time in demanding the attention of a new business owner.